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Bring It On

My Husband is Taking Viagra

My husband is taking Viagra and can't keep his hands off of me. Your thoughts? -

QUESTION: My husband just began taking the drug Viagra, and now can't seem to keep his hands off of me. We have been married for 30 years and never really had that great a sex life. I can't help but think it's not me he's attracted to, but simply the Viagra luring him into the bedroom. What are your thoughts?

PAT ROBERTSON: Well, as we pointed out once on this program -- and it's true -- Viagra does not cause sexual desire. It merely enables a man to perform sexually, who, up to that time, had some type of dysfunction, a type of impotence so that he could not perform sexually. And your husband undoubtedly enjoys you and loves you, and he probably has felt badly over the years is because through his inability, he's not been able to fulfill the role of a sexual partner that he would like. So now something has come along that enables him to be the man he always wanted to be. Viagra does not make a woman more attractive. It has nothing to do with sexual desire, really. It just has to do with enabling him to perform sexually. And so I wouldn't worry about it. I think I'd enjoy it if I were you. Assuming you enjoy it.

QUESTION: I know this is a sensitive subject, but my husband thinks by using little sex toys in the bedroom, it may spruce up our love life. They're not vulgar things, but it still makes me a little uncomfortable. I know the bedroom is supposed to be a sacred place, and I wonder if it's OK for us to experiment with this type of behavior.

PAT ROBERTSON: There's a lot of stuff going on in the world today. But the basis of sex, the greatest sex organ anybody has is the brain, the emotional center. And the emotional center comes out of love and affection and shared relationships. This isn't some mechanical gimmick where you're trying to do little funny things with each other to heighten the sensation. Some of the homosexuals use stuff they call poppers, a nitrite substance that's supposed to heighten them. Some of them actually take a rope and try to choke themselves just before they experience some sexual climax to heighten it. Listen, that isn't what God put you in this world for. What he wants you and your husband to do is to love each other, not use gimmicks. Because the more gimmicks you have, the more it becomes mechanical. And the more mechanical it does become, the more sex is cheapened. Very simply the answer is don't do all that stuff because it's not wise. In fact, if you begin to move toward mechanical devices, then all of a sudden, it's a pornographic video. Then the next thing you know, it's menage a trois. It's always some other gimmick.

TERRY MEEUWSEN: Now let me ask you: It sounds to me like this husband has initiated this. So how does the wife approach him? Does she say, `I'm uncomfortable with this and I don't want to do this?'

PAT ROBERTSON: Well, you know, the thing is to sit down and say, `You know, I love you and I know you love me. And let's ask the Lord to heighten our relationship in every aspect. You know, there's a union of a couple in the the spirit, in the mind and in the body. It's a triple coupling. And this is cheapening our relationship.' And you need to sit down and talk to him and say, `Honey, I know you're trying to do something nice to make me happy, but this isn't working, and I feel bad about it. I feel like it's wrong. And I would ask that you just let this be an expression of our love for one each another and not some mechanical gimmick.' But she's got to talk. I mean, we have to have frankness. You know, couples don't want to talk about it. They just kind of turn the lights off and do it, but they don't want to discuss it. So you need to discuss this with your husband what's going on.

QUESTION: A friend of mine who is homosexual is considering adopting a child. This particular child has been in a physically abusive home, and my friend feels that he can at least give this child a loving home. He wants my advice, and I'm not sure what to say. I've been trying to lead my friend to Christ and just want to be cautious with my answer. What would you suggest?

PAT ROBERTSON: You know, USA had a movie recently with Valerie Bertinelli about lesbian couples and adoption, and so forth. And I know about what happened when a young man was taken away from his Christian mother by a court and given to his homosexual father. And the next thing you know, that guy was a flaming homosexual, and if I'm not mistaken, he contracted AIDS. I don't think that homosexuals, especially single homosexual men, should be adopting children. I think it's just wrong. I think for any single man to think of adopting a child is in itself a dangerous practice because you don't have time, you don't have the mothering instinct. If you have to go to work, how are you going to take care of a child? It's very difficult to do for anybody that's single. To take on somebody else's child is difficult enough, but to do so in a homosexual environment where the contacts that the man is going to be having -- his various male lovers coming in, and this youngster's going to be exposed to all that? The answer is: this would be a terrible environment. So if there's any way you can do it subtlety say, `Look, Jesus loves you, but I think right now we ought to get you straightened out before you start taking on some other responsibility.' A life of a child is very significant, and that won't be a help for him.

QUESTION: I'm a wife, a mother of three and I work. How do I know if I'm doing God's purpose for me? I constantly feel like I am not doing enough. I wonder if that's Satan, as well. Do I wait for a word from God, or do I go to find things to do to help other people?

PAT ROBERTSON: Tina, the biggest thing that everyone can do is to pray, to pray for the world, to pray for the nation, to pray for souls. But the most important thing Jesus said, `This is the work of God, that they would believe on thee, Father and Jesus Christ, whom thou has sent.' The greatest work that we do is to believe him and to trust him. And so I would recommend before you start worrying about, `Well, I've got to go down to the old folks home or I've got to, you know, cook meals for the hungry or whatever,' spend time with the Lord and grow in your relationship with him. That's the most important thing. And then out of that, God may put a burden on your heart: `All right. Let's witness to the man sitting or the woman sitting next to me at the office,' or something. But don't let that guilt come upon you. That isn't necessary. God doesn't send you guilt, but what he would like to do is draw you into intimacy with himself. What God desires more than anything else is not our work, it's our fellowship. And if we give him the fellowship, then out of that will come these other things, but it'll be in the spirit. It'll be easy.

QUESTION: My wife and I are home schooling our five kids, and we've run out of room. We'd like to get a larger house, but that will leave us strapped for cash. Would it be against God's will to use some of our tithe money to pay for a larger home?

PAT ROBERTSON: It's not a question of God's will or not will. I mean, the money's yours, but if you want a blessing, he said, `Prove me with your tithes and offerings if I won't open the windows of heavens and pour you out such a blessing you cannot contain.' Buying another home, a bigger home doesn't qualify under that definition. So you can't expect the abundant blessing of God if you spend all your money on a house payment. So I don't think that that is the appropriate attitude. If you can find ways, I think the big thing you should do is to say, `God, I'm going to give to you and I ask that somehow you'll provide me sufficient funds to acquire this property if it be your will.' And I think that's the way to go instead of saying, `Well, I'm going to take my money for tithes and use it on a mortgage payment, or down payment on a house.'

QUESTION: I clean houses on the weekend. And one of the houses I clean -- every time I go in the basement -- I feel this really weird feeling in my gut and I start sweating profusely. And I'm thinking there's something evil in there. So what should I do? Should I stop cleaning that house, or should I try to rebuke what's down there in the basement?

PAT ROBERTSON: You know, Jesus sent out his disciples two by two. And I think for one cleaning woman to take on some evil force in somebody's house -- who's knows what's there? I mean, I don't have any idea. I've never been in the house. I presume you're sensitive to the things of the Lord. But if the owners of the house want someone to pray against this, and you can discuss it with them, then I definitely would bring several people who know the Lord and you could anoint the house, rebuke that thing and cast it forth. But I sure wouldn't go down to the basement and take it on by yourself. You might wind up with more trouble than it's worth. And in that situation, you can tell the owners that it's been fun working for them, but you think you better find another employer. But I do believe that you need more than one person, and that's what I would advise. If you feel like you can talk to the to the people who own the house, say, `I feel that there's an evil presence in this home, and would it be ok if I brought some friends to pray over your home.' Now they may think, `Well, you -- you're just a religious fanatic,' and they don't want to talk to you about it. Then again, they might. I just think that to get into a situation like that with one woman taking on who knows what's there? And I just think with two or more, it's better.

QUESTION: I recently got a stock tip. But I'm wondering as a Christian, should I be investing in a company that does genetic testing?

PAT ROBERTSON: I don't see anything wrong with genetic testing. I think that the mapping of the human genome is considered a very fine thing. It's going to lead to cures that will deal with many debilitating diseases. And Genetech, for example, and others have brought through some medical breakthroughs that have been very helpful to mankind. So I can't see anything from an ethical standpoint of investing in them. Now if the question is: Are they buying body parts from fetuses? Are they doing stell cell research on aborted babies? When you get into that, then you're looking at some ethical questions. But just in terms of genetic research, there's nothing in the world wrong with that that I can see.

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